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How to overcome low self-esteem : here is how i did

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If you struggle with low self-esteem, then I can 100% relate to you, I was in the same place for years until I learned how to overcome low self-esteem 3-4 years back! In this post, I will share with you everything I did!

How to overcome low self-esteem

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Having low self-esteem is one of the bitter things we all go through, for a few, it may seem like not a big deal, but it affects your life so much and to a great degree.

Honestly, I did not realize to how much extent it was affecting my life until I fully overcame it

There are some tiny ways we might struggle with in terms of low self-esteem, which might not be affecting our life that much

but for many people, (like me years ago), it was a huge thing, and it was affecting my mental health a lot

I struggled with my body, feeling under-confident, and uncomfortable with my own body, face, and everything else

So much that it started to affect every area of my life, how I performed at school, being in social settings, spending all my time in my head, and feeling low.

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How to overcome low self-esteem

What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is thinking low, undervalued, incapable, or inferior in things in life, feeling you are not good enough in maybe 1 thing or for someone everything in general.

For some people, it is physical appearance, they think everyone looks better than them, degrading their appearance.

You don’t feel you are worthy of abundance, love, and success

You don’t respect yourself, and your self-beliefs, are all critical and negative.

Your perception of yourself is very low, and hence, you constantly doubt yourself and don’t trust yourself with tasks, or anything else.

You accept and dream of less than you deserve, not aiming for big things because you see you are not capable of it.

Somewhere, you might wish to do so many things deep inside, but you don’t let yourself because of the self-perception you have built.

Signs you have low self-esteem

Here are some signs that you have low self-esteem

  • You are constantly criticizing yourself in your mind
  • at the same time, you fear criticism
  • You let others disrespect you and make fun of you
  • You think others are better than you
  • You have a fear of failing/ making mistakes
  • You struggle with setting boundaries – saying no when needed
  • You have a habit of people-pleasing
  • Do you think you do not have any talents or gifts
  • You have a hard time accepting compliments

Reasons behind low self-esteem

One of the main reasons behind low self-esteem is criticism

As a child, you do not naturally struggle with low self-esteem when you are born, it is after you are in this world connected with people who have a low mindset

Like your parents, teachers, adults, and mates, the words they speak to you, they tell you, criticize

From a young age, it becomes your inner voice

What your parents often told you growing up, teachers in school, adults around you, or even media

Beliefs in society that were made about success, beauty, and talent, all make up your low self-esteem

If not everything, many of those words and beliefs stay with us and become our own self-belief

It all starts at a young age, when we were kids because we did not have any beliefs or ideology about us

we were oblivious and looked at and made judgments about ourselves through our parents and guardians’ lens

If they thought you were talented, you started believing you were and if they said you were not you believed that too

I have found myself feeling insecure about so many things because I constantly heard them from someone growing and eventually it became my self-perception affecting my self-esteem

I would feel underconfident and conscious about it all the time

Things like these happen to us all the time

Is it possible to fix low self-esteem?

The good news is that is 100% possible to fix or overcome low self-esteem

Something which I thought would never be possible when I was suffering, but now that I have come a LONG WAY! I know that it’s not just possible but also easy 

Yes, you gotta do a lot of inner work, but otherwise, it is super easy and achievable

and I will share how to in this post!

How to overcome low self-esteem – 17 ways

1. Understand how keeping low self esteem is affecting you

Consciously identifying that you have low self-esteem is a good step to enter the path of healing, you are aware, so now you can do everything to heal it,

But, a lot of times, even though we know we have low self-esteem, we try to remain like this

making it our identity and because it feels familiar and comfortable even though we are suffering

This can lead us to never take action or stay consistent with it.

But you need to understand that my remaining in this dark place, is affecting your life deeply.

Your life can be so much better, peaceful, and bright by just doing the inner work for a while

It is not that hard and life after you overcome low self-esteem is going to be a beautiful one,

Every time you feel like giving up, remind yourself how having low self-esteem is truly affecting you, and you do not want to be in this suffering when there is a better option!

2. Change your mindset

Low self-esteem has nothing to do with the outside and everything to do with your inside world, specifically your mindset

Your low self-esteem is in your head, in your mind lying in your beliefs, once you change your mindset/beliefs about yourself

Your low self-esteem will also fade away too.

To change your mindset, you need to identify and write down all your beliefs about yourself

What do you think of yourself? Why? Where is this thinking coming from? 

Make a conscious choice to change that belief by saying the opposite repeatedly and telling yourself that you are _______

For example: If you think – I am not talented

– Say the opposite- I am talented in everything I put focus to with time and effort, I become skilled in everything

And the thing is the line above is purely realistic! Because with focus, time, and effort in anything you become a pro at it! 

Go even deeper by proving this statement right

Pick any one thing you want to do, 

Start learning things, give it time, focus, and put in the effort to learn efficiently, and you will find yourself becoming better and better at it as days go by!

3. Stop seeking external validation

One of the common signs you see of people who have low self-esteem is that they constantly seek external validation 

I used to do it way too much that I could not make even decisions myself

How do I look? What am I good at? and what should I do? What is better for me?

I would ask someone else opinion instead of building my own.

And when you ask others, they give their opinion, which even they are not sure of

They say anything without giving it much thought, and sometimes, they say it from a negative perspective.

In fact, when you ask more people, you get different responses, and you realize that they all speak from their minds, and it does not define you.

Stop asking others, and stop seeking compliments from others too. Realize that their opinion about you does not matter.

The only person whose opinion truly matters is you, yourself!

4. Change your inner dialogue.

The best way to overcome low self-esteem is to change your inner dialogue

because it is truly the inner dialogue that has caused low self-esteem

yes, people around you may have planted a seed of insecurity by saying something negative once or even more than that

But eventually, it is you, you watered that insecurity by criticizing yourself, constantly thinking about it

Notice how you talk to yourself every day, notice the kind thoughts that pop about yourself throughout the day 

And reverse them by saying the opposite.

Your goal is to have a positive inner dialogue filled with only good things you say to yourself.

It will slowly shift your beliefs about yourself, and how you feel about yourself, and you will overcome your low self-esteem in no time

5. Just be yourself and embrace it

Right now, you are not comfortable with who you think you are and you try to be like someone feeling shame and guilt about being yourself

First, you need to truly discover yourself and know who exactly you are

  • What do you like?
  • what do you dislike?
  • what is your opnion in xyz
  • what makes you feel loved
  • things you are good at
  • things you love about yourself 

Once you truly start discovering yourself not from other people’s lens but your own, you see how amazing you are

How unique, talented, and beautiful your personality is that is something you need to embrace more

Show that side of you more

Don’t hide it because you feel like people will judge you

6. Do more self-love practices

Ideally, the lack of self-love is what makes you feel low about yourself, you have not given yourself the love and care that you need that build inner love and confidence.

Practicing self-love habits can help you be with yourself more, discover yourself, embrace yourself, and truly love who you are

It will help you truly know that you are not what society tells you, you will learn your purpose, and your unique gifts and connect with your intuition that will guide you happily

I have written two posts on self-love that you can read to build self-love practices

7. Move your body

From personal experience and hearing from many people as well

I have learned that moving your body involves physical movement that makes you beat, sweat, and indulge in an activity for the time being every day.

Helps you build mental strength, feel good about yourself, and increase confidence.

There are endless benefits of exercise that go beyond physical results and can help you improve your self-esteem 

8. Appreciate yourself more

Start appreciating yourself more rather than belittling, find small things every day you can appreciate about yourself.

That feels genuine and wholesome!

Back in the day, I would work on my habits more and try to appreciate those little things in did that today, for example

  • Completing exercise
  • Making my head
  • Reading a book
  • Learning something new
  • Waking up on time

Looking for Small things every day to compliment yourself helps you build that self-esteem and feel good about yourself!

9. Stand up for yourself.

This one is very important,

When I struggled with low self-esteem, I let others say anything to me 

Making fun of, and disrespecting me, I would get hurt but still could not stand up for myself,

a part of this reason was that somewhere, I would believe that they were right about me, maybe yes, what they say is who I am.

Even if you do feel insecure about so

10. Failure is not the enemy

Since a young age, we have always been made to feel bad about failing at something, when we try something new and do not get it.

We were scolded and told how all sorts of harsh things, in school majorly we see failure as an enemy where we are punished and shamed for not being good at something.

Many parents do the same, and it eventually becomes our belief too

We fear failure all our lives, what if I do this and fail at it? I am a loser then!

If this is you, it is time you change your thoughts about failure

Understand that failure is not an enemy, it is not bad to fail at all

Failing is proof that you are learning, you are learning from your mistakes, which can help you become skilled.

Failure is not something you can escape from, it is a part of life because there is no other way to grow and in life 

You try something new, you make mistakes, you fail at it, then you fix it and reach one level up and that’s how you improve!

11. Set boundaries with people

Setting boundaries with people who may be triggering you in your healing journey especially is very important.

Say no, limit contact with them who constantly try to put you down or push your limits.

You do not have to stay in contact with them, 

12. Tell yourself you are worthy of everything

Something I have started doing a lot more this year is affirming every day that I am worthy of all the abundance in this world.

We tend to belittle ourselves and especially when something good happens to us, we think we do not deserve something so good and wonder how did it happened.

It also stems from low self-esteem, you have to tell yourself that you are worthy of everything!

When I have a goal I want to achieve or attract something in my life

I have started to say to myself that I am worthy of XYZ

When something good happens in my life, instead of being shocked and wondering how it happened to me

I say that I am worthy of it and enjoy the blessings!

This helps you increase your self-worth and help you overcome low self-esteem

13. Journal and affirming.

Practice journaling and affirmations will be your best friend and key tools to build high self-esteem!

Journaling helps you consciously become aware of your mindsets, catch limiting blocks, and connect with yourself.

Repeatedly, practicing affirmation will help you dissolve those negative beliefs about yourself!

These are key practices that you must do every day 

14. Read other people’s success stories.

Thanks to social media, there are so many people like us, who struggle with exactly the same things and share their stories and journeys online.

We can watch, read, or listen to their stories on how they overcome these struggles and gives their tips, and it helps you stay motivated that you can do it too!

15. Don’t shrink yourself, aim bigger.

When you struggle with low self-esteem, you keep your dreams a little too

you think you are not deserving, capable enough to aim for bigger things

But that’s not true.

We all are limitless, and the only reason you feel that way is because of your limiting beliefs.

Look back and think of a time when you wanted to get something, but it felt impossible to, you think you could have done it, but then you did it and you saw how easy and small it was to get what you wanted

You spend so much mental energy thinking impossible it that getting it was a piece of cake.

That is due to the limiting blocks that exist in your mind!

Realize this and start aiming bigger!

16. Own up to your mistakes and fix them.

When you do make mistakes, instead of cribbing out it and telling yourself harsh things

Own up, take responsibility!

Accept you did it and that you will fix it and not repeat it again.

this builds credibility that even when you do make mistakes you know how to take responsibility and learn from it

You start trusting yourself more and don’t feel scared to try and make mistakes again

17. Be Kind to yourself

At the end of the day, you have to make sure that instead of being harsh, rude, and critical of yourself.

You are kind and caring, which will nourish your soul and help you overcome low self-esteem.

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