After years of living through people’s perceptions and expectations of you, you finally realized that self-love is important and much needed, but how do you start your self-love journey? How to start loving yourself? In this post, I will 10 best tips for beginners to start self love journey!
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The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself
Just like others, I always felt hard to love myself and even did not know how to love to begin with
I spend years living through people’s perception of me and valuing my worth as per them
Whether at home or school, I could never stand up for myself and do things for ME
Even when someone made a bad remark on my appearance or personality, I would get hurt and believe it to be true ( dumb, I know)
I lacked Self-love to the core
As years passed, I always felt unhappy and not good enough! My insecurities only grew with time deeper and deeper
I was I think 16-17 when I was matching a You tube video where they talked about self-love and insecurities.
That was when I first realized I have major insecurities
Fast-forward to now, I am 21 and love myself deeply and unconditionally
Yes I still feel I have a long way to go and need to work, But I am at a healthy place
It all happened when I decided to start my self-love Journey! Hence, If you are wondering, How do I begin my self-love journey?
I here to share with you everything that helped me! Let’s Get started!
13 best tips for beginners to start self love Journey
1. Become Aware
It all starts when you realize that you are lacking self-love and need to start your loving yourself!
Most of the people are not even consciously aware that they lack self-love, which is why they are never put effort and work on themselves!
How do you know if you lack self-love?
- You struggle with being alone
- You struggle with low self-esteem
- You find it hard to do things for yourself that bring you happy
- your relationships with others may suffer too
- You are insecure about your body or feel not good enough
if you struggle with even one of them, you lack self love to some extent
P.S: Self-love is a constant Journey, No one is at 10, we all lie between somewhere
2. Let go
Now that you are aware, it’s time to have a fresh start! Let go of old times! If you went through a breakup, or loss or experienced any kind of bully
Understand that what has happened was not your fault and you are going to move on and put yourself First!
Start by forgiving yourself for the times you did not stood up and hurt yourself even, if you go about feeling sad guilty of old time, you will not be able to move on!
Forgive Others who have hurt you
I think it is the most important when starting love yourself! It took me the most amount of time to let go and forgive everyone who had hurt me once
I took those words grudges with me and they would always come to the surface during arguments.
3. Be Patient
Like I mentioned above, it is not an overnight solution- loving yourself requires time and effort! It is a constant journey and you will slowly start seeing results so do not lose hope and go for it!
4. Accept Yourself
Every time I heard this, accepting yourself, it did not sit well with me
I always found it hard
How can I just accept myself and stop feeling insecure or sad anymore?
Here is what Helped
At first, I didn’t know if this could really and how magically!
It requires consistent effort and takes time to show the result, but let me tell you this is the real deal!!!
I would constantly write affirmations every day and say it out loud when alone
It become a part of my routine that i would do before starting my workout! I can say i did it religiously for months or even almost an year
I would repeat words lile
- I love and accept my self
- I love my body
- I love my eyes
everything that I felt insecure about I would say That I love that part!
Overtime, it really happed, In fact It sort of became a habit now that I normally start saying this to myself when getting ready!
I know, you may feel tired of hearing about gratitude but it is truly the most important aspect
With so much going on in our life, we lose value and appreciation for things we have and how important those parts in our life are!
I always felt insecure about my nose, but it is more than it’s appearnce
It fulfils the most important function of body, that is breathing
and that’s what it is made for
Bu practicing gratitude for these part you will learn to value those areas that you always felt insecure about
5. Eliminate Toxic People from life
I think I saw a big change when I was not in the same environment anymore! I was not constantly surrounded by friends or people who would put me down constantly!
But what if you cannot eliminate them?
There might be someone in your life you cannot just leave and distance, Even though i would recommend if you can leave, the Leave as soon as you can
But incase you cannot, first understand how close they are, they love you? you love them?
tell them, this is something that bothers and if they can continue our relationship without bringing up these matters we can sit same, otherwise no
If they truly love, they will make sure to not repeat them!
But what if they still continue?
Honestly, I would say, leave or distance as much as possible!
Apart from this, I read a book – Think Like a monk, which talked about this situation
it said, for every 1 negative person in your life, spend time with 5 positive people to nullify it
Yes, the difference in the ratio is huge and it shows how powerfully negativity spreads!
6. Start doing things that brings you Joy
When you love someone, you do things or give them things that make them happy
the same you need to with yourself!
Doing things that make you joyful is the easiest form of self-love
It not only makes you feel better about yourself but you will feel loved!
There are so many things that brings me joy and make sure to do them every now and them! Dancing, Drinking coffee or working out
I wanted to mention exercise because it had a huge and immediate effect on me!
At first I started working out to get fit but honestly, instead of getting fit I felt immense love and confidence
When I was taking care of my body by doing workouts that I enjoyed it instantly lifted my mood, making me do more of it every day
Over time, I remember once feeling this immense joy and love from my body more like thanking me to take care of it!
8. Identify and Change Your patterns
This one’s is important
I remember being halfway into my journey, I would be doing good and suddenly back to square one, feeling insecure low, and unhappy again
It repeated multiple times and made me wonder why this was happening
After I long time of becoming mindful of my habits, I realized my patters
Patterns or you can say habits we all develop when we are struggling with self-love or low self-esteem
For me it was some youtubers that I was subscribed too when I was insecure
Those were beauty related youtubers that made strictly videos on how to get rid of this, DIY mask to cure____
When I was insecure, I would constantly watch these videos to change my flaws and hence subscribed
Overtime I forgot to unsubscribe and halfway into my self-love journey, whenever I would open You tube and these videos would pop up, my mind would feel the urge to watch and do something about it, taking me back to the whole cycle
Once, I realized, I unsubscribed immediately!
there were many small patterns that I recognized and then stopped doing, which gradually helped me from going back to my old self!
Just like patterns, we have triggers that causes to feel the same way! It could be a sentence reminding and taking you back feeling the same in the moment or a moment or someone
Recognize your triggers, the first time it will happen you will feel the same motions you felt, that’s okay!
Use this opportunity to recognize that this is your trigger and next time how can I handle it better?
Maybe you need to eliminate that part or give yourself a pep talk immediately to make your mind understand that you are not the same person anymore and no need to feel this way!
9. Practicing Self-care
Ever since I started Consciously practicing self-care, I have felt more in tune with my inner self. I can feel content with who I am and comfortable spending time alone!
Self-care can tremendously help you in your self-love journey, after all! Self-care is all about loving and caring for yourself
Some Parts of self-care that people often forget
- Setting Boundaries ( #Learning to say No):
- Being Kind to Yourself
- Doing things that make you happy
- Believing in yourself
- Taking care of your mind, body and soul
When I started spending time with myself, I discovered I had so many dreams and passion to do various things in life, Once I gave a few of them A try! I learned some things That I was actually good at!
It helped me boost my esteem and confidence and I started doing it more and more!
When you have started your self-journey, the road is not always easy, there will many bumps, meaning time you will feel low and not good enough
Maybe your loved ones are making you feel this way and you cannot share with anyone
In those moments, you can journal and express your emotions wholeheartedly!
In fact, Practicing Self-love Journal prompts will help you go in you journey towards loving yourself!
12. Watching You tube videos
I personally did not had anyone to help me out and give me big sister pep talk, hence, I turned to virtual mentors who talked about self-love, and things I was dealing with
Listening to them helped me understand and change my mindset toward self-love! Whenever i felt like giving up, I would remember those few lines i heard to keep me going
Here is a Self-love Playlist I created for you guys to check out!
13. Reading Books
Apart from Youtube Videos, there were many books that I read about self-love and healing which helped me in loving myself Unconditionally!
Here are some books that will help you in your self-love Journey
How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness
This book I bought this during my self-love journey and I am really grateful for that! The author has shared his own experiences as well of others in every place! how self-love affected the person’s relationship with partner, friends and even in career!
Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty
I talked about this above and honestly it’s must for everyone! This book really shares practical guides to help you take action!
It covers not only about self-love but everything from finding your purpose and creating a meaningful life!
You Can Heal Your Life
Remember I talked about Affirmations above? How magically they were in healing! This books revolves around affirmations for treating the problems!
It also talks about how our trauma can affect our body and may be the reason for our health issues, A lot of people find it controversial but I think it can help you look at things with a new perspective and figure out for yourself!
These were 13 tips on how to Start Self-love journey! Remember that it is a journey that you will have constantly work on or the rest of your life!
Once you have reached a healthy place do not stop keep going and BE PATIENT!
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