Have you noticed yourself being negative most of the time in your life? Possibly in every other situation? If yes, this post is for you where I share How to stop being negative!
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Over the years, growing up, I read so many books and watched and listened to so many life coaches telling me ways to be positive all the time.
In the beginning, I tried to implement such tricks and tried my best to be positive all the time.
But once grew up, I realized it is a myth.
You cannot be positive all the damn time! I felt it was pushing toxic positivity within us
and now I have come to the realization that positivity and negativity both are part of our human life
We cannot force ourselves to be positive in every given situation and second, as well as being negative all the time at everything is also harmful to your mental health and life
It is also essential to have this balance of maybe 80% positivity and 20% negativity so our life is filled with more positivity, even if negativity cannot go away 100%!
But first, the question is…
How to know If you’re Being Negative
I am sure you may have some of these thoughts or realizations of being negative, which made you stumble on this pot, but if you are unsure, here are some ways to figure it out.
One of the main signs is that you have negative thoughts all day round, you are worrywarter, who constantly worries about things.
From the little things to the biggest, if one thing is going wrong, then you cannot help, but feel anxious about it all day.
You always feel things are going wrong in your life, even if something good happens, you manage to catch some fears in it.
You also lack self-esteem, which results in saying no to opportunities and plans.
Always stuck in the past or obsessed about the future and if this will turn out right, and regret what you should have done instead.
Your mind constantly chatters, and it’s mostly, negative or harsh things.
Although these signs come and go in everyone’s life. Nobody is free from such habits but for some, it is like a chronic thing
it is always there, it is a part of their lives for as long as they can imagine.
I know this because I have been one of those people.
I worry a lot, and I cannot imagine a time when I was rested and did not worry about something, I also had a lack of self-esteem and worry about my future.
However, now things are different, and I managed to stop being a negative person a long time ago.
For me, it was when I became aware of self-esteem, that I managed to overcome and lessen the negative noise.
After that, I was hit by the realization that I complain a lot too, and that’s when I tried to overcome it a
Now, I would say that although I tend to be negative, or fearful of some things, I have a long way, and I will share all that helped me in this post!
17 ideas on How to stop being negative
1. Eliminate negative triggers
Most of our negative thoughts are the result of our own thoughts and mind, but a great degree is also triggered by our environment
Quite frequently, you may notice, that people who often worry a lot, also come from a negative environment.
Not all, but many who grew up in such a state that made them worry.
Our surroundings can’t be a trigger to our negative thoughts, and no matter how much others tell you that, you need to be strong to not get affected by your environment.
It is wrong.
Changing our environment can, in fact, reduce negativity in us and can support us in our journey to heal negative thoughts.
For example: when I was going through low self-esteem and I wanted to change my inner thinking that constantly chattered negative stuff about my self
No matter how much I pushed myself back then, anyone around me made fun of or judged my flaws,.I was triggered
It was only when I had cut off from those people, and during my healing journey, there was no one reminding me or triggering me that I was able to overcome low self-esteem and change my inner dialogue.
And after a while, when I did come across the same people, and they passed the same comments, I was not triggered and managed to walk through it with ease!
So certainly you need to shift the people and your surroundings that may be making you more negative
2. Be mindful of your thinking of thoughts
Our thoughts are the main contributor to our negative mindset, I realized this way deeply when I read the book ” Don’t Believe Everything You Think”
I have talked about this book in many of my posts, and I read it in 2022.
It was at a time when my negativity was at its peak, and this book was a blessing.
This book shared how 99% of problems in our lives arise from our thinking and nothing else
Our brain’s main function is always to protect us and catch threats because our ancestors used to live in such an environment with no food or shelter.
But now we have evolved so that we do not experience any real dangers like this in our lives, but our mind function is still the same.
It is always looking for threats in everything, even if there is not really any threat.
We should be grateful for our mind to protect us and make us aware of future threats, but also form a clear boundary and distinguish that it is nothing but our mind.
We have so many thoughts in a day, but we give our attention to thoughts and start thinking about them.
That is when Our thinking leads us to be negative.
Acknowledge that these are just random thoughts from our mind and let them go, thinking about these thoughts will cause you suffering.
So, next time, if you come across a negative thought, let it go, and tell yourself it is simply you trying to find the threat.
It is not a reality if it is not in the present moment. Don’t bother
3. Stop complaining
Most of us are unaware, but we have this natural habit of complaining all the time. We complain in every situation.
There might be nothing going wrong or negative, but we managed to complain about something subconsciously,
And if a minor inconvenience does happen, we make it big or stay angry the whole day.
Even if things are not going exactly, the way you want, don’t complain about it.
Shift your focus to something, which is positive in the situation and what you can control.
Because complaining is just a waste of time and energy.
It does not bring you any solution and in fact, creates more negativity.
The more you complain, the more negative you become, and the more unhappy you feel.
But, if in that given moment, you switch to focus on what you are doing, you can most likely find a solution and have great mental health!
4. Be flexible
Being fixated on what you want and how you want exactly, is the reason, why people tend to complain or worry a lot.
It is a given that everything does not go in our favor
Things happen, and we are faced with failure or problematic situations.
While it may make you feel down, we need to learn to be flexible and move on with your life
Expecting things to always be in your favor exactly how you want will only make you feel bad
because it does not always happen because that is life!
It is essential you accept and try to be flexible with such things
Once you do that, so much negativity will be automatically washed away
5. Let go of things that are out of your control
In continuation, with the above point, we must realize that things, always might not go our way.
Sometimes, things happen as we did not want, and it could make you feel terrible and helpless.
It is only natural to worry, you may express this worry, but after a short while
You must shift your focus to what you can control.
What is in front of you and what you can do, give your best in that situation.
This will help you not have any regrets later on yourself because you know you gave your best.
Further, you could not do anything about it! With that thought, let your mind rest and be at peace.
6. Bring yourself back to present
We may all agree that all our worry and negativity in our life is mainly about the past or future but not about the present.
It can be a day after or a few hours later, what has not happened causing you to worry.
The truth is that constantly thinking about the situation of what has not happened and is not about the present will not do anything.
It will not bring you a solution or make you feel good.
By thinking about it constantly, either you can ruin your present or make the best out of now.
Living in the moment is the only thing we need to focus on. When you are solely focused on the present, there is no negativity.
Every time, you start thinking about your past or present, bring yourself back to the present and enjoy the present.
7. Be patient for unmet desires
We all want to do, so many things, so many goals and desires.
It is great and only natural for us to dream. While we may want to achieve all of them, fast and together.
It is not realistic, some of your dreams might be challenging to achieve in your current life.
You may think, “Oh, it’s never gonna happen if it is not happening now”.
But that’s not true,
We all have our own timeline, things will happen only when they are right for you.
So, if there are any unmet desires in your life, don’t give up on them just postpone them until you are ready to accomplish them
Otherwise, you will get equipped with this anxiety and discomfort. Be patient, it will happen when the time is right.
8. Spend time in nature.
If you are stuck in a place where, no matter what, you can’t help but feel low, or don’t know how to stop being negative
Try connecting with nature. Just spend time in a park or garden, full of nature around you.
Naturally, you will get your calm on your own.
Nature has this peacefulness that will make you feel at peace when you are surrounded by it.
Just be in nature and observe the surroundings around you, the trees, birds, and flowers.
You will cool down I promise!
9. Meditate or do deep breathing
Certain, exercises are proven and designed to help you feel calm and positive, to help release the negative thoughts you may be filled with.
two of those practices are meditation and deep breathing
Although they are almost the same thing, there are some differences
Meditation is more of an advanced practice that gives you long-term results.
It helps you stay in the present moment actively for a given time you practice it. During this time, you let go of the negative thoughts that keep occurring and focus on your breathing or something else you choose.
Over time you use this practice in any situation in your life, by helping come back to yourself. Boosting your mental health as well.
Now, deep breathing is almost where you might be filled with negative thoughts,
You focus on your breathing by doing deep breathing sessions for a few minutes.
10. Spend alone time
Learning to enjoy alone time can help you prevent your negative thoughts when you are alone.
We are stuck pondering when we are not comfortable being with ourselves.
We don’t know how to enjoy ourselves and get deepened in ourselves
So when we are alone in our company, we feel uncomfortable and dependent on others and equipped with negative thoughts.
Learn to spend quality time alone and depend on your connection with yourself.
Enjoy your own company and have fun. DO things that you enjoy, you don’t have to be dependent on others to feel good!
So whenever you feel low, you know how to be your best friend and have fun!
11. Indulge in self-care activities
A good way to relax and enjoy being by yourself is by indulging in self-care activities.
Give yourself care and love! Self-care is essential in everyone’s life, and most importantly, for our mental health!
With the help of self-care, you will be able to bring more positivity into your life and overcome any negative issues you have
Give yourself the love and appreciation you deserve is the ultimate form of self-care
Here are some posts I have written sharing self-care activities, try them.
12. Start with gratitude
Implement gratitude in your daily life to feel welcome and more positive.
Whenever you take a moment to consciously feel gratitude towards something in your life, you let out positivity and also feel better the whole day.
It is easy to think that, everything is going wrong when faced with a difficult situation, but by reminding yourself of the blessings in your life.
You realize, that it is not bad after all!
13. Talk yourself through negative thoughts.
If there is a negative thought that is bothering you way too much, it is hard to let it go and come back to the present
You may need to talk yourself through it instead of avoiding it.
Challenge your thoughts and ask yourself questions about it
Where is this thought coming from? Are these facts or assumptions?
Journal about thoughts and let them out!
14. Look on the brighter side.
Focusing on the brighter side of things can also help you to stop being negative
usually, we think about negative things more easily than positive at every other situation
So, if we make the switch to looking at the brighter side more than the negative
It will be easier for us to be more positive!
15. Visualize a positive outcome
It is easier for our mind to always think about negative outcomes
Oh, what if it goes wrong, what if, I am not able to make it! and things like this that make us anxious and worried all our life
I know, this may feel challenging, but push yourself and switch to imagining a positive outcome!
Things will work, and it will happen!
16. Find Hobbies
If you want to be in the present moment more and enjoy it. You need to get into hobbies.
Hobbies are a must for everyone, I always say,
Hobbies are essential for us to find joy in being by ourselves and create a source of happiness alone.
Not depending on someone or any accomplishment.
You just do it for the joy of doing it!
17. Take more action than thinking
Lastly, on how to stop being negative, I often find myself and others too
worrying and thinking about doing something. What will happen? will I be able to do it? what if I am not good at and the list goes on
We spend more time thinking than doing, which results in building a negative mindset and never achieving what we want
But, if you focus on taking action rather than thinking
You will realize that it was the easiest thing in the world. Not only it was 100% possible, but hey! You already did it!
Why waste time and energy thinking so much!
Just do it!
How to stop being negative – Summary
I know it may seem challenging to stop being negative when it is a part of your life for so long
But honestly, I have managed to overcome it and so can you!
You have to be patient because it is a gradual process and will happen as you practice it
Focus on being mindful and on what makes you happy
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